I started out with a lumpectomy and nodectomy.  I was one they used in a nationwide study regarding the nodes.  The study was to find if there was a mother node and if it was clean there was no use in doing a nodectomy.  They found it was true and that is why they don't have to do so many node removal.  This was a  positive outcome of a bad experience.  I went for radiation therapy and burned on the 2nd treatment.  They waited 2 weeks and tried again with the same reaction.  The radiologist said it was due to my fibromyalgia.  He said many fibromyalgia victims burned with radiation.  So I had to go for a radical mastectomy.  After surgery my drainage tube wasn't working right.

I had my surgery in 98.  The resident's wouldn't listen to me that the suction tube was in the wrong place and not working.  (I am a nurse and have taken care of more JP suction tubes than the collective age of the 5 resident's looking at me).  It was pulled out the next day and I went home with an open, leaking, gaping wound that didn't heal for 6 months.

The way my surgery site looked it made my husband so upset because it looked like I was mutilated.  I am a large person so the extra fat tissue made it look even gross.  My husband had a lot of trouble looking and me and my missing breast for a long time.  It always made him mad the someone had mutilated his "sweetie".  It has been a long struggle.  For some reason I was left out of the circle and never was linked to a prosthesis place for support and a prosthesis.  I found it on my own. 

I am still very self conscious because I don't look symmetrical.  Maybe I notice it more and others don't.  I have been clean now for 7 3/4 years now but lost a friend that had been clean for 8 years.  It is a medical fact that everyone has cancer of one sort or another approx. 5 times in their life time.  Due to their immune systems they cure themselves and for those that have compromised immune systems the cancer come to light.  I thank God everyday that I am a survivor of cancer.

  I refused to second guess if I will get cancer again.  I have always been an optimistic person, but it played a toll on my positivity.  I have been able to regain it and will not let it be questioned again.